It's hard to write about Ian and I thesedays. We read each other's shit. We disagree on some things. I know he knows it's true and I know that this is okay to blog about because all our really really serious shit gets settled off camera.
It's been a learning experience, to say the very least. After one extreme disagreement, fuelled (as they do seem to be) by my strange tendancy to want to discuss things after spending quality time with premium beer (and the complicating not drunk/drunk rule), I sent him a message the next day. It said something akin to the following: To go from being apart for a year at a time for 3 years and then go to living with each other in close quarters is an enormous step, and to have arguments like this one is completely natural.
I truly truly believe this.
I have to share everything. Things that a stranger can't do, he can - he can finish the caramel chocloate digestives and I can't be really angry. I don't WANT to be angry about biscuits. That shit is inconsequential with him. But if I ain't dating you and you eat the last McVities prepare to die.
Tonight he's out with some friends, and I have stayed home. Because I wanted to. And I know he wasn't happy about it. But I know it'll pass because we love each other. That is incredibly empowering. We aren't petty. I sometimes fall into the petty zone and find that as soon as I think about how happy he makes me, biscuits and evenings out and all of the stupid other things are just so damn secondary.
His is the face I see every morning, and he's the one I think about every time I shop for dinner, buy a new top, make plans to do things.
The biggest change has been to go from being by myself to being with someone.
On the one hand, I'm going from completely independant to having to consider someone else at least 50% of the time.
And on the other hand, I'm going from being lonely to having someone who considers me at least 50% of the time.
And I don't do anything by half measures :)
This is a 
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