This has got to stop

I am not a person who overreacts in times like these. When the bombs were going off, I , like every other journalism graduate, went straight to the media and stayed glued for as long as I possibly could without getting fired.

When my underground train was diverted along the Bank branch yesterday morning because of a scare at a station way up, I carried on to a diversion station and took a connecting train. When the street outside my work building was closed off yesterday afternoon and the police sent a robot down the street to investigate an abandoned car, I looked on in curiousity as I knew I was too far away and on too high a floor to be in any danger.

But when my train this morning was diverted twice, from my original route and back again, I was initially happy; and when as everyone exited the train at Kennington a man started (for lack of a better word) screaming to everyone that the platform was being evacuated, and people were running wide-eyed towards the exits as my train pulled away - I was really scared, for the first time in this whole situation.

A man and his girlfriend were hugging and she was crying a little and everyone was eyeing everyone else out (especially those who had just boarded the train) and I just thought, this has got to stop.

I want to be defiant and 'stoic' and all of those good things, but I really felt like shrivelling up inside as the doors to the train closed that little bit too quickly, as the driver sped up that little bit faster than before. Because there you are, you're in what is effectively a long metal and glass tube in a long hole deep in the ground, and your mind runs through scenarios that will more than likely never play out.

Those poor poor people who are still looking for their loved ones. By now they must feel so hopeless.