I must remember that the second cup of soup is never as satisfying as the first. It doesn't have the same salt ratio, and a third of the way in you just end up feeling like a glutton.
I dreamt last night that Tony Pierce took me away to Vancouver with him. I don't remember what happened after that but I remember being very very happy.
I've just got hold of Bleed American by Jimmy Eat World again - I'd forgotten how much I loved this album. There are songs that swell with feeling; Futures carried a lot of this too. When I hear Sweetness I am taken back to hearing the chorus being hollered while I showered at Ian's house in Cape Town. I remember how clear it was and how loud. It was summer and I'd just swum in his pool which was ice cold. If You Don't, Don't is by far my favourite song on that album. Some of the lyrics in Your House have felt really close to the bone since hearing them again:
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
Then out of nowhere, put me right back there.
Rip my heart out, you rip my heart right out.
And we know what happens when we get to your house.
Rip my heart out, you'll rip my heart right out.
I'm going to move on to Futures tonight. I think I need a little hark back to the times of teenage love and kisses in cars to get my mind off the present. I went through my journal yesterday and read the things I'd written in August. How was my perception of us so wrong?
I guess things changed.
I throw away everything I've written you.
Oh anything just keep my mind off of it, thinking how I had you once.
No, I can't forget that.
Sometimes I wish I could lose you again.
It's November now. It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that in February I'll fly home alone.
This is a 
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